You know what's really freaky?
Watching Jeopardy on mute. You get all of the questions, but none of the answers. You walk away, and a few minutes later are still trying to figure out what obscure 80's band it was talking about. Curse you, muted Jeopardy, for ruining my peace of mind!
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Not that it was all that peaceful to begin with. AGH. This whole college thing is starting to drive me crazy.
First of all: the essays. I've never liked writing essays. But, until now, they have just been some grade that sorta kinda mattered, but not really because I could balance it out with good grades on the reading quizzes. But college application essays... if I mess these up, I'm in a lot more trouble. The next four years (and, to an extent, the rest of my life) depends on how well I write these essays. No pressure.
And then: I don't actually really want to go to college. I sound crazy, right? All of the other seniors are like "oh my god I can't wait to leave this place and break free and blah blah blah." But... I don't know. I'm happy now. And I don't want that to have to change. I don't want to have to leave behind everything I have now. I feel like I finally belong. The first two years of highschool... well, they were a bit rough. I had to figure out where I fit in and who my friends were. But most of last year, and then this year... it has been amazing. I look forward to coming to school each day. I have great friends, am finally participating in school-related activities (theater, diversity club, art club)... everything just works. And I don't want to have to change all of that. I don't want to leave.
Yeah, she definitely plays a big part in this. I love her, and I'm scared of even thinking about the fact that I won't be here next year. I don't know what to do. I honestly wish I wasn't a senior.
People keep saying that college will be the best part of my life or whatever and that I'll make a bunch of new friends and stuff like that. Well, too bad. I like the friends I have now, and I don't want to have to ditch them all and go make new ones.
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I'm tired, and I haven't even started homework yet. sigh.
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...but please pick the five that are MOST IMPORTANT to you...
